I wish... I went to bed earlier (part 3)

Every evening at 10pm my mobile phone has beeped at me. Turn off your gadgets! OK OK, hang on, let me just finish this comment on Facebook. 

Then, an hour later... BEEP BEEP BEEP! Lights out Richard! Come on, stop what you're doing. Go to sleep. OK, alright, chill, I'll just finish this chapter.

The alarms have worked because they remind me to switch off. A few minutes later, I begrudgingly do what they tell me. The result? An earlier bedtime. More sleep. Can't argue with that.

But my goodness, those alarms aren't half annoying. Nag nag nag!

It's like being told to go to bed by your Mum. No! Why should I? I'm an adult, I'll go to bed when I feel like it! Every time the alarm goes off, I have to remind myself that I set the alarm. The only person telling me to go to bed is me. 

So I lose the Kevin & Perry attitude quicksmart and get on with it.

It's only gone wrong twice this week:

The first time, somebody else that I live with (who shall not be named) woke me up at midnight by shouting, and then at 3:30am by moving around the house and operating machinery. Needless to say I was a bit tired and irritable in the morning. 

However, instead of staying silent on the matter and stewing with unresolved anger (like I normally would), I confronted the person about it. To my surprise it wasn't awkward at all, and I felt better for saying something. Result!

The second time, I had some fizzy alcoholic drinks and a large meal just before bedtime. I felt so stuffed that I had to prop myself up on pillows like the fattest man in the world so I didn't suffocate on undigested hamburgers.

Not my finest hour.

Then I woke up several times during the night with tummy aches and sweats. Nice. At least I can add another thing to my list of things not to do before bedtime.

I checked out a couple of websites about sleep this week. One was The Sleep Council. New tips I picked up from them included:

• 16-18 degrees celsius is an ideal temperature for a bedroom.
• Write down any worries you have in a diary before you go to bed.
• Practise breathing exercises and visualise the muscles in your body relaxing.

The Sleep Council also stressed the importance of buying a comfortable bed. Not surprising when you realise it's funded by the National Bed Federation, the trade association for British bed manufacturers!

The other website was goodlife*sleep, which aims to join up the dots between sleep, health and personal development. It's a new venture co-founded by a friend I met recently, Mag Secretario, who doesn't sell beds, so I signed up for the newsletter.

Crikey, is that the time? Night night.

What do you do to unwind before bed? And what do you definitely not do?

I wish... I went to bed earlier (part 2)

One week into my new wish, am I going to bed earlier?

During the week (AKA school nights), yes. Lights out by 11:15pm on average.

At the weekend? Awful! Awfully late, I mean (the weekend was brilliant). Saturday and Sunday bedtimes were respectable; midnight or just after. But Friday... I didn't sleep until 4am!

Oh well, it was a fancy dress party; it would have been rude not to.

I don't mind staying up late at the weekend, as long as I don't have big plans for the next day (i.e. a shift at work, a wedding, or another late-night social occasion) and as long as I feel OK (i.e. not desperately tired, ill or tormented by a thumping headache). 

Fortunately, that was the case this weekend. Despite going to bed five hours later than planned, I slept deeply and felt fine on Saturday. 

Sure, I felt tired by the early evening. But I stayed awake. I didn't nap. I got back into a relatively normal sleeping pattern as soon as possible.

This week, if all goes to plan (yeah right), I'll go to bed at 11pm on six consecutive nights. I've got a new trick up my sleeve: An alarm on my mobile phone to remind me to switch off gadgets so I can properly unwind before bed. My friend Jo Robinson suggested it, and I reckon it's worth a shot.

After all, lots of us set an alarm to wake up. Why not set an alarm to go to sleep?

Do you wish you went to bed earlier? What time would be ideal for you?

I wish... I went to bed earlier (part 1)

On the whole, I sleep well. I feel tired when I go to bed, I fall asleep fairly quickly and I usually don't wake up again until my alarm goes off in the morning. 

I'm lucky, I know. Some people struggle to sleep every night of their life (hopefully they're bankers).

Sometimes I don't sleep well. I'll lie awake, rolling from my left side to my right and back again, and flipping my pillows over to find the sweet spot. Normally wedged between my knees!

I know what causes me to sleep badly:

• staying up late the night before and sleeping in too long
• working late into the evening, especially on my computer
• watching TV before bedtime (just one more episode of Peep Show!)
• worrying about something that's going to happen in the next few days
• a strenuous cycle late in the evening (combined with high sugar energy foods)
• being too hot or too cold
• sharing a bed with someone who snores or fidgets (I'm a total hypocrite, of course)
• too much noise outside my bedroom (I said form an orderly queue...)
• an uncomfortable mattress or bedding.

Knowing these things means that I'm quite good at avoiding them. Except for one...

I stay up too late.

I am a total sucker for squeezing in a little bit more work or a bit more tidying up or more TV whilst I make a sandwich for tomorrow (and, while I'm at it, a late night snack).

Even when I do go to bed at a reasonable hour, I can't resist picking up a book and reading to the end of the chapter. And then peeking at the start of the next chapter. And then reading half of that until my eyes can't stay open any longer.

It's not unusual for me to go to sleep well after midnight.

Every time that happens, I know what will happen the next day. I'll struggle to wake up, press the snooze button too many times, and I'll be grumpy because my head aches and everything feels like an effort. Heaven forbid there's a quiet spell during the day. That's when the eyes start to droop...

Commence the most boring battle in the world; the battle to stay awake.

I don't always win. Occasionally I'll have a 'little lie down' after dinner, which accidentally turns into a two- or three-hour slumber. I'll wake up feeling wobbly and woozy and then, a few hours later, when it's time to go to bed again, PING! - I'm wide awake.

So, this month, I will go to bed by 11pm as often as I can. And when I say 'bed' I mean lights out for sleepy time, not sexy time, or reading-in-bed time. Sleepy time.

How will a regular early-to-bed sleeping pattern affect me? Hopefully I'll feel more awake during the day and have more energy. Fingers crossed I'll get more quality work done. You never know, I might even feel happier. Anything is possible. :-)

Do you have a regular sleeping pattern? What tips can you give me for a good night's sleep?

I wish... I had a healthier relationship with money (part 4)

Hang on, that was my wish for March, wasn't it?

Yep. And April too. Wish of the month has become wish of the months, which isn't what I had in mind. Or wish of the quarterly. At least that sounds financial.

The good news is, I have fulfilled this wish. I have a healthier relationship with money. 

This is how I did it:

I submitted a claim for travelling expenses to my employer. It was a big one. Months and months of claims that I should have submitted last year. Just finding the receipts took hours, let alone matching them to specific journeys. 

My manager was very understanding and most of the claim was approved. But some of it wasn't; either it was too old or I didn't have a relevant receipt. 

It was my own fault. Lesson learned. 

What else?

I created a Personal Expenses spreadsheet for the financial year 2014-15. That sounds incredibly dweeby, I'm sure, but I learnt more about my spending habits from that spreadsheet than anything a bank or building society has ever sent me. I actually felt angry when I typed in yet another entry for petrol or chocolate or alcoholic drinks. I couldn't believe how much money I had frittered away.

Me at Cadbury World, 18th July 2014

What shocked me most was how much I had spent by Direct Debit. Accumulatively. So I tackled that next.

I cancelled several Direct Debits. For example, a payment to Specsavers for monthly contact lenses and bottles of solution. I have so many in stock now that I could make a Telescope that rivals the Hubble.

Some of the Direct Debits were to charities. I don't feel good about cancelling them, but I've been paying out for years. I think I'll be forgiven for pausing this once. Besides, no doubt I'll be sponsoring a cousin to run 5k through a swamp or a friend to skip up the Inca Trail before the year is out.

What else?

I moved money. Little bits of money that were doing nothing in one account (such as PayPal) but were desperately needed in another (such as my bank account). A barely noticeable speck of dust in the money markets of the world, but gargantuan in my world.

The end result? 

I have a healthier bank balance and a much healthier relationship with money. I don't ignore bank statements and credit card bills anymore. Well, not for as long. I check my bank account online more regularly. And when I earn money, it goes into my bank account as quickly as possible.

I am facing up to the reality of my situation. I need to spend less than I earn (somehow I forgot this), and that needs to happen for many, many months. I can do that by cutting my spending further, moving more money (I haven't yet explored pensions from previous jobs), and by making more money.

Just like that.

I wish I had a healthier relationship with making money.

What is your wish of the month? Join me in June and make it happen.

I wish... I had a healthier relationship with money (part 3)

So the month of March came and went. Did I have a healthier relationship with money at the end of it?

Yes. I'd say so. Slightly.

Doesn't sound very convincing, does it. That's because it's not.

What did I actually do to develop a healthier relationship with money in March?

I paid the rent for my home and the rent for my studio on the 1st April. The recipients were gobsmacked and I had to reassure them it wasn't an April Fool's joke.  But did I set up a Direct Debit to automate the process and avoid delays in future? No.

I made a note of how much money was in my bank account and ISA. Plus how much money I owed on my credit card and student loan. But did I move any money around to reduce unnecessary charges? Nope.

I emptied my Bertie Bassett piggy bank and cash tin from craft fairs last year, then created piles of coins and notes like Scrooge McDuck. But did I add it all up and bank it? No I did not.

I visited MoneySavingExpert.com and wrote a list of all the things I could do to save money or make more money. But did I do any of them? Not one.

Did I, instead, buy expensive ink cartridges for my printer, leave one online course only to join another one that costs more, and buy Easter eggs at the last minute that I could have bought earlier for less? Yes, I absolutely did.

*slaps forehead*

I still have a long way to go to develop a healthier relationship with money. It's too important and urgent in my life for me to fail at this wish. So I'm not finished with it yet. 

This month I will list the most important actions I can take to save money and make money, and I will do them by Thursday 30th April. So help me Bertie.

What do you wish you could do? What are the most important actions you could take to make it happen?

I wish... I had a healthier relationship with money (part 2)

Why do we spend money that's not ours to spend?

Last weekend I went to Ireland with my mate Steve. It was fun. We drove around, visited the beautiful town of Westport, and watched some plays in Claremorris. One of them was Steve's.

We flew out there with Aer Lingus, then hired a car for the weekend. We stayed in B&Bs and ate mostly in pubs. It didn't feel like a particularly luxurious holiday. But, as I stared at the last twenty Euro note in my wallet, it dawned on me how much I had spent in three days...

Ouch. That's all I'm saying.

Why did I spend so much money that I don't have? Because it was an opportunity. An opportunity for a few days of fun with an old friend. An opportunity to be a good friend. An opportunity to go to a country I've never been to before.

(That's not strictly true. I did visit Dublin once for about an hour. The ferry from Wales was delayed by bad weather and I barely had time to get off before I had to get back on again.)

Do I regret going to Ireland? No. Not as an experience. It was beautiful and the people were lovely. But as an expense? Yes. Yes I do. 

When I got home, I found a note from a loved one. It reminded me, in the nicest way possible, that I owed people money. Namely my family.

Welcome home.

I was tempted to sit on it. But then I remembered my wish of the month:

I wish I had a better relationship with money.

So I paid them back. Straight away. Because settling debts feels better than having them. It was a step in the right direction anyway. And it felt good.

Until I renewed my car insurance the next day.

Double ouch.

This week I will work out exactly how much money I have. A snapshot of my finances. A starting point for what comes next.

What is your wish of the month? Care to share?

I wish... I had a healthier relationship with money

Imagine having enough money to do all of the things that you wish you could do.

I don't have a bad relationship with money. I earn some, I spend some, I earn some more. I don't gamble (no hope of a Lottery win then). And I don't buy the latest gadgets. Anyone who has seen my mobile phone can attest to that.

I've always had a little bit of money in my bank account. Enough for a meal with friends. Presents for the family. An occasional holiday. 

But I don't have a good relationship with money either. I don't know how much money I have in total (or don't have, more to the point). There are debts. Not huge ones, but debts all the same. And I've lost track of all the little things I'm paying for; Direct Debits, charges, subscription to Woman's Weekly, that kind of thing.

...

To be honest, this paragraph that you're reading - this one, right now - has taken over half an hour to write. I wrote it and rewrote it and then deleted it and wrote this instead. Why? Because talking about money is hard. It's personal. It's emotional. It touches on my insecurities, my fears, my sense of worth.

...

I have a weird relationship with money. I need money to pay for essentials and a few things that I like doing. But apart from that, I don't care much about money. I hardly ever think about savings or interest rates or pensions. I never pause in front of estate agent windows. 

Perhaps I should but, frankly, I think it's boring.

When an opportunity arises for me to quickly make or save money, I squander it. For some reason that I don't understand, if a little bit of effort is required, such as filling in a simple expenses form or cancelling a subscription, I don't do it. 

Oh well, I think to myself, I'll just earn some more money.

In some ways, that's a positive attitude to losing money; trusting that more will come my way. Believing in abundance. But when the money being lost is money that is within my control, then losing it is foolish. Irresponsible.

I self-sabotage my ability to make money and use it wisely. That has got to stop.

Why now?

Recently I couldn't do something that I wish I could: go to the Burning Man Festival in Nevada. I simply could not afford it; the tickets, the flight, the lot. Neither could my friend. That frustrated us. A lot! So we have promised each other that we will save up and go next year.

It's not my only motivation. I wish I lived in my own place again. I wish I didn't have any debts at all. I wish I could invest more in my business. I wish I could buy a GoPro camera. I wish I could visit my friends in Australia and The Phillipines. I wish I didn't worry about money so much. I wish I wish I wish...

I wish I could do all of these things and more while I'm young(ish) and healthy enough to do them, and also put a little aside for my twilight years.

Not asking for much am I... ;-)

By the end of this month I will have developed a healthier relationship with money.

Do you have a healthy relationship with money? What's your number one tip?