It's a second hand Ford Mondeo Zetec. Zetec? I think that's what it's called. I'm sure Zetec is on my car insurance. And it's got a 2 litre engine. Or 2.0 litre engine. I don't why the .0 matters, but apparently it does. Oh, and also, it uses Unleaded petrol. That's about everything I know about my car. It's silver too. I forgot that bit. Here's a photo of it.
It's quite a big car. For me. My last car was a 1.0 litre Citroen Saxo, which got written off when another car slid into it on black ice. I didn't replace it; I didn't need a car in London. So I was really excited when I got this. It's the first car I've owned that accelerates up hills. It's very exciting.
The problem is, I don't know how to look after it. Sure, I can wash it with a sponge and some hot soapy water. I can park it OK and push the wing mirrors in so they don't get knocked off. And most of the time I remember to lock it. But what about the important stuff?
How do I change the oil? How do I replace a tyre? How do I stop the bodywork going rusty? What does a spark plug do? What does a spark plug look like? What the hell is that rattling noise?
Why do the wheels look mouldy? What pressure should the tyres be? What is this white stuff and how do I get it off?
And most important of all, how do I remove this dead bug from my rear brake light??
I don't know anything about cars. But I wish I did. I wish I could walk into a garage and understand at least some of the jargon being spouted by the mechanics. I wish I knew how to fix a problem myself or knew what to do if my car broke down on the roadside. I wish I could extend the life of my car and save it from landfill for as long as possible.
So this month I will learn how to maintain my car. I'll get my hands dirty, learn some lingo and pray that my car gets through its MOT test in a few weeks' time. Then scratch my arse crack and have a cup of tea with three sugars.
What do you wish you could do? Take your first small step towards fulfilling it this month.
