I wish... I looked after my car properly (part 2)

I hold my hands up. I failed this month.

At the beginning of November I wanted to learn how my car works and do some maintenance on it before it had its MOT. If nothing else, I wanted to change a tyre.

Did I do any of those things? No, of course I didn't.

Here is a list of excuses that I considered making to you:

• I was too busy with work.
• It rained all the time and I would have got soaked.
• It was too dark in the evening so I couldn't see anything.
• My car is parked on a slope and it might roll away with me under it.
• I could damage the car because I don't know what I'm doing.
• I can't work on the car today because I need to use it later and what if something goes wrong?
• My Mum and Dad are on holiday so I've got nobody to drive me around if something goes wrong.
• What if something goes wrong?

The fact of the matter is... I didn't want to learn how to look after my car. I mean, I did want to, but I didn't want to enough. It doesn't really interest me. I would rather be doing other things like drawing and painting and setting up a small business and selling stuff. Not to mention sleep. Has anyone noticed it's dark by half past four? Again with the excuses!

I'll tell you what I did do though: I took the mats out of the footwells and I vacuumed the inside of the car. That was good. I also put some petrol in the car. That makes it go.

Erm, what else? 

I talked to my friend Adam about car maintenance, which was very insightful. I wish I knew as much about cars as him and his Dad. They're the type of men who have a 'project' car in the garage. Men who build cars. An alien breed to me.

And after that...

I booked my car in for a service and a MOT. This involved going against the advice of my parents (which is never a comfortable thing to do) and asking the car mechanic who owns a unit next to my studio, Lee, if he would do it. My reasoning was that Lee is someone I see everyday at work, someone I am becoming friends with through our daily encounters, and someone who - I hope - would not risk sh***ing on his own doorstep.

My car passed its MOT on Thursday. Lee fitted one new tyre and a couple of brake pads. I wasn't surprised about the brake pads at all; I'd hammered them pretty hard on the winding hilly roads to work and back and recently they had been sounding and feeling a bit 'scrapey' - I think that's the official term for it.

I'll tell you one thing: From now on I'll be a lot gentler on the brakes. Less foot to the floor, more changing down gears.

I still wish that I looked after my car properly. OK OK I was crap this month, but I do value my car more than ever now, and I want to care for it. I won't do a car maintenance course or anything like that, but I will ask people who know about cars for their help and advice on little things that I can do.

That's something.

Did you fulfil a wish this month? Or were you rubbish like me? Nevermind, join me in December for a new wish of the month.

If there's a time of year to make wishes come true, surely it's Christmas.

I wish... I looked after my car properly

I am fortunate enough to own a car. Mostly I use it to drive to work (when I'm not cycling). Sometimes I drive it to visit friends and family. Occasionally I drive it all over the country to visit places with amusing names. But that's another story...

It's a second hand Ford Mondeo Zetec. Zetec? I think that's what it's called. I'm sure Zetec is on my car insurance. And it's got a 2 litre engine. Or 2.0 litre engine. I don't why the .0 matters, but apparently it does. Oh, and also, it uses Unleaded petrol. That's about everything I know about my car. It's silver too. I forgot that bit. Here's a photo of it.

It's quite a big car. For me. My last car was a 1.0 litre Citroen Saxo, which got written off when another car slid into it on black ice. I didn't replace it; I didn't need a car in London. So I was really excited when I got this. It's the first car I've owned that accelerates up hills. It's very exciting.

The problem is, I don't know how to look after it. Sure, I can wash it with a sponge and some hot soapy water. I can park it OK and push the wing mirrors in so they don't get knocked off. And most of the time I remember to lock it. But what about the important stuff?

How do I change the oil? How do I replace a tyre? How do I stop the bodywork going rusty? What does a spark plug do? What does a spark plug look like? What the hell is that rattling noise? 

Why do the wheels look mouldy? What pressure should the tyres be? What is this white stuff and how do I get it off?

And most important of all, how do I remove this dead bug from my rear brake light??

I don't know anything about cars. But I wish I did. I wish I could walk into a garage and understand at least some of the jargon being spouted by the mechanics. I wish I knew how to fix a problem myself or knew what to do if my car broke down on the roadside. I wish I could extend the life of my car and save it from landfill for as long as possible. 

So this month I will learn how to maintain my car. I'll get my hands dirty, learn some lingo and pray that my car gets through its MOT test in a few weeks' time. Then scratch my arse crack and have a cup of tea with three sugars.

What do you wish you could do? Take your first small step towards fulfilling it this month.

I wish... I could street dance (part 5)

You don't need lessons to be able to dance. All you need is a body and a soul.

"Come on people, show me some energy! It can't all come from me," said JP, the street dance instructor. "I'm giving you my life here!"

We wannabe streetdancers were a bit subdued in my third and final lesson in October. But I couldn't help thinking it was the rapid, non-stop routine JP had given us that was partly to blame.

I wasn't the only person who was struggling. But I seemed to be the only person who was so lost that occasionally I stopped altogether and waited for the right moment to leap back into the routine. Like a surfer choosing a wave to ride.

I refused to give up. As planned, I practised the routine without constantly watching JP, and squeezed in extra practice during brief interludes when he was fiddling with the MP3 player or we all stopped to drink water. I didn't care if I dried up like an old prune; I was determined to learn the routine.

Despite my best efforts, my final performance was poor. I accepted that although my soul was willing and my body was able, my mind would not allow me to remember the routine in the time available. I needed more time. 

But there wasn't any. The lesson was over and next week we would learn a different routine. Why couldn't we learn and practice one routine over several weeks? I wondered. Then I could practice at home and nail the flipping thing.

I drove home in a huff. It felt like an anti-climax to the month. I had secretly hoped that the final lesson would be my best yet. That suddenly it would all click into place and I'd seamlessly perform the routine from beginning to end with power and precision and afterwards we'd be high-fiving and freestyling out the door, all the way to the pub.

My expectations were unrealistic. To become any good at street dance I would have to practice week in week out for years. That's if my body held out. And my ability to learn routines is unlikely to improve with age. So where does that leave me?

I will go to a few more street dance lessons. If I enjoy them, I'll carry on going. If I don't, I'll stop going. Because dancing should be fun. It's a way of expressing yourself. Personally, it makes me feel alive and sometimes takes me to a higher place. It's hard to describe.

You don't need lessons to be able to dance. All you need is a body and a soul.

So I'm going to end this wish of the month on a positive note. After lesson 2, the lesson that I most enjoyed, I filmed myself practising the routine in my studio. I'm clumsy, it's filmed badly, and I didn't dress for the task in hand. But I tell you what - I had a bloody good time doing it.

I wish... I could street dance! (The music video)

Join me again soon for a brand new wish of the month. What do you wish you could do?